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Poker players are well-known for being a little crazy. Most people think it is just money they are crazy with but I think we will all admit the lifestyle and stories are outstanding. I have been entertaining myself reading some of the funniest poker stories posted online and remembering some of my own experiences. I trust and I hope that these stories are honest and I think they are. I just hope I do them justice because there is limited space.

Here are my favorite funny poker stories. The last one is my own, which happened to me some years ago and was so funny I’ve never forgotten it and I am sure I never will.

For FedEx Sake!

1. So I had to make s funny story about a mutual relationship and this is what I came up with. Narrator: A Long,long long, uhh how many times am i supposed to say long? Derector: STOP BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL,ALSO THIS IS NOT STAR WARS, YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO SAY LONG AT ALL! Narrator: k jeez, A long long time ago, there was an AWESOME SPACESHIP!
2. Was think about posting this anyway. My favorite poker story. I call it 'results oriented'. A friend of mine had been running pretty bad and was on hist last $300 at 1/2. He runs it up to about $800. He's feeling lucky so he moves to 2/5 with $500 with $300 to retreat to 1/2 if it doesn't work out. Shorty after getting a seat he finds himself.
3. R/poker: Shuffle up and deal! Official subreddit for all things poker. Funniest thing you've seen at a poker table.

This one is funny to me and I laughed when I read it. It is a bit of the butterfly effect, and when you ponder it, you will find your mind realizing how crazy life can be. Here goes. In 1973, FedEx was not the multi-billion dollar company it is today. It was in deep trouble, and the company was down to its final $5,000 in the bank with a $24,000 fuel bill staring owner Fred Smith in the face. Fred decided to go down in style, heading to Vegas with his final $5,000 and gambling it (as you do!). He hit a timely run of cards, turning $5,000 into $27,000 and saving the company. Over 40 years later, FedEx has grown into the huge company it is today, giving Fred a personal net worth of over $2 billion. Just think about that for a moment! I wonder if he tipped the dealer that night?

Know Your Left From Your Right

In a small buy-in tournament in the USA, a young man was holding a short stack and staring elimination in the face. He had his hole cards in one hand and his few remaining chips in the other. He looks at his cards and stops to think for a moment and then throws his chips into the middle announcing “fold” as he does so. The dealer says “But you threw your chips into the pot?” to which the player sits for a moment then swears. It transpires he had forgotten which hand his chips were in and meant to throw away his other hand (his hole cards) rather than his last few chips. Unfortunately the poker Gods did not spare him and he busted out of the tournament. At least it appears he would have made a good decision to fold before the bad decision to “muck” his chips!

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Celebrate Wisely

This story is funny, but only because it didn’t happen to me! User Laez posted this on Reddit and it was so funny I actually laughed out loud, rather than just “internet laughing”, which for me is just to smile. Over to Laez.

“A friend of mine had been running pretty bad and was on his last $300 at 1/2. He runs it up to about $800. He's feeling lucky so he moves to 2/5 with $500 with $300 to retreat to 1/2 if it doesn't work out. . Shorty after getting a seat he finds himself with KK. He limp 3 bets. Gets 4 bet shoved on by another limper and the original raiser calls. He tanks forever. Says he knows one of them has AA. Calls anyway. Both have AA. He binks a K on the flop. Triples up.

He is super stoked. Decides to celebrate by going to his favorite hooker who lives in another state an hour away. So after celebrating his luck with this hooker she asks him for a ride to another motel. This next motel is a police sting. They arrest him. Then he finds out that the hooker told them that he was her pimp. She said that he beats her, takes her money and that he is the one that posts the ads on Craigslist. They charge him with dozens of charges and tell him he could get 15 years in prison. He uses his phone call to call the poker room. We go bail him out the next day. When he comes out he says thanks but nothing else. Obviously didn't sleep that night. It's quiet in the car for like 15 minutes. And then out of nowhere he says. 'I should have folded those Kings.';

Tremendous. He should definitely have folded those kings but the true humor in this story is that he is blissfully unaware of the odd activities he undertook that led to him being arrested. I hope the hooker in question is no longer his favorite, I’m not sure she deserves it anymore.

Never Teach People to Play Poker

This story happened to me and is 100% true. My friend knew of my interest in poker and had railed me one evening when I had done quite well in a low stakes MTT and had won $50. He thought this was fantastic and said he had always fancied learning to play poker and begged me to teach him. I eventually agreed and as I have a set of chips and cards we set about playing one evening. After a painful hour or two teaching him the rules he still didn’t seem to get it so we began to play a little heads up with a view of learning as we encountered different spots. It was not difficult to beat him at first as he called everything and if I had a hand I was usually ahead.

Then suddenly we got to the flop and he raises instead of calling. “You’re raising?” I said, impressed he remembered how to do it. “Yes.” he said, looking rather excited. “We need to work on your poker face.” I said. We got to showdown. I had two pair and pure morbid curiosity had gotten me this far as he had bet every street. I showed my two pair. “Can you beat this?” I asked? “Yes.” He said, turning over his cards. “A red flush.” “A what?” I said. “A red flush.” He said, like I was the fool. And there it was. Three hearts and two diamonds. “Nice hand.” I said. He looked so happy I couldn’t break it to him, but we have a laugh about it now. He turned out to be a pretty good poker player once he got to grips with the game. Don’t forget, we all start somewhere!

Over the weekend, 14-time World Series of Poker gold bracelet winner Phil Hellmuth appeared on Reddit's Ask Me Anything (AMA) celebrity channel. AMA interviews allow anyone to ask the subject a question, and Hellmuth's appearance followed in the footsteps of other poker pros such as Phil Galfond, Jason Mercier, and Antonio Esfandiari, just to name a few.

Hellmuth joined AMA to celebrate the debut of the world's only 24/7 Poker TV channel, Poker Central, which will launch on October 1.

'One interesting thing about me that most people don’t know is that I was friends with Chris Farley, when we were growing up in Wisconsin.,' Hellmuth said in his AMA introduction. 'And, when I started out in poker, I did so badly that I had to go back to Wisconsin to do farm work to earn a new bankroll.'

Here are some highlights from the 'Poker Brat's' AMA:

Unfortunately, I DO lose control sometimes! But a lot less than the world thinks or understands.

Hellmuth on the Future of Online Poker in the United States

'Legalized online poker is coming; 100%! It is simply a question of when...Amazingly, one person has stopped legalized online poker: one person! Mr. Sheldon Adelson: and he spends $100 million every year funding politicians...However, David Baazov (poker big hope) is fighting hard, and effectively, for legalization. I'm hoping for full legalization in California, and then many of us, and the experts, believe it will spread across the USA.'

Playing Against His Professors in College

'Yes, I did play against two professors at the Univ of Wisconsin way back in 1984! In that game, we also had Psychiatrists, lawyers, and doctors. None of them were under the age of 40, and I was 20. Each was a professional w multiple degrees, I was an undergrad. But I'm pretty good at this thing we call 'Poker.'

'I started in the smaller games at UW, at the Memorial Union, and as I crushed that game, then I found the bigger games, until I made it into the 'Docs game.' I once won $2,700 in one night in that game, in about 1985! Seemed like a fortune to me then!'

On His Legendary Fight Against Sam Grizzle

'Sam Grizzle!?! Sam has always been one of the funniest guys in the poker world: huge personality! One day he asked me to save him a seat in a game while he went to eat. After 90 minutes, I made the casino stop taking his $9 every 30 minutes, cause so much time had passed, AND then he shows up and the game is full, DOH! So he wants to fight me...I say, well you better do it this week while my back is out, and suddenly I'm in my first and only fist fight I've ever had in the poker world! We both land punches, but next day not a mark on either of us (BEST FIGHT EVER cause no one was hurt).'

Dealing with Bad Beats

'Obviously I whine too much because I'm the Poker Brat! But I try really hard to NOT let any bad luck I have at the tables affect me away from the tables. I have gotten better and better at this over the years, but I'm sure my wife will tell you i was bad at this in my twenties and thirties. I don't want that stuff to impact my relations w my friends and family in a negative way.'

Relationship with UltimateBet

'I was proud to have had a big role in forcing an investigation at UB, which led to $25 million being returned to the players. People said I should have left the site, and that would have been easy to do as I was wanted by Full Tilt. But I saw another pro get haunted for years because the site he repped DID NOT pay the players back. Staying was the right move, and I was happy when the players were paid back. I was also happy when evidence emerged a few years later that made it clear that I wasn't aware of what was happening. The poker world stuck by, but the evidence was nice and completely shut up the haters.'

On His 'Poker Brat' Persona

'Unfortunately, I DO lose control sometimes! But a lot less than the world thinks or understands...If I lose it, then ESPN is there to play it over and over, but when I'm good they aren't using that footage as much.'

Poker Runs in the Family

'I'm training my son Nick a little bit. i want him to learn Super Tight play, and then add a few wrinkles. I don't like it when he loses 20 big blinds w A-Q!'
click here

Playing Golf

'Let me say that Golf Digest just ordered a Q+A w me for an issue soon, and I played Pinehurst #2, Hazletine (3 times), and Stanford in the last 5 weeks!'

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To view Hellmuth's full AMA, click here.

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